Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota
Organizing your holiday tasks will reduce your stress and will leave you the time and energy to enjoy the holidays. Do not let this upcoming holiday season become the season of stress as you anticipate all those cards to write, gifts to buy, cookies to bake, ornaments to hang and guests to entertain.
The good news is there are still several weeks to prepare. With a little organization, it really is possible to get through the season with your spirit and your sanity still intact. The trick is in planning and setting priorities to help you focus on what is important and avoid spreading yourself too thin.
If you cringe at the thought of getting organized, do not despair. This is not about obsessing over perfectly clean counters or a color-coded gift list. It is about making a little effort up front to save a lot more effort in the long run.
Following are six suggestions to help organize your holiday tasks:
Take stock of your resources:
When we think of resources, we think of money, but our resources also include our time and energy. If you think of each of these elements as limited, you are more likely to dole them out judiciously.
Spend time now assessing how much you have of each, and then keep those limitations in mind as the season progresses. You do not want to find yourself swept up in good intentions that leave you too tired, time-pressed, or broke to enjoy the holidays.
It is okay to talk money with your family members, especially with the adults and older children. If they understand budget realities, they are less likely to have overblown expectations and a big disappointment during your holiday gathering.
Look at the big picture:
What would your ideal holiday look like? Surprisingly, few of us spend much time considering that. Instead, we tend to do the same things year after year, assuming everyone in the family is happy with it.
Put more thought and decision-making into holiday activities and chores as a way to help you set priorities and avoid wasting your finite resources on the expendable things.
Get the whole family involved in looking at the big picture. That way, everyone’s wishes are heard, and nobody can shift the blame if things do not turn out as hoped.
You might be surprised by what you learn. Maybe your family members are not particularly fond of bumping along on a horse-drawn wagon in search of the perfect holiday tree. Maybe your spouse prefers chocolate covered Oreos to home-baked sugar cookies.
Be especially wary of those things we label traditions. Just because you have done something in the past does not mean you have to keep repeating it. Do what you really want to do, not what you think you ought to do.
And do not let others’ expectations dictate your choices. You need to be able to give yourself permission to say no.
Make a schedule:
Once you have determined what you want to accomplish – keeping your resources in mind – it is time to commit it to paper. Let each family member choose one activity he or she would really enjoy and write those priorities in ink on the family’s calendar. Be sure to include all the children/grandchildren’s’ holiday pageants, school concerts and other important commitments, too.
The less important activities get marked in pencil so they can be eliminated easily if time, money, or energy runs short.
Schedule activities such as gift shopping, tree decorating and cookie baking as well as “down” time to be spent with the family. If that seems a little too controlled, consider writing things down to free your mind which will reduces stress. It also helps you see concretely how much time you really have. If you can see it in writing, then you will be better able to visualize getting it done.
Get it in writing:
Stress is compounded by forgetting things so put everything you can in writing including your card list, your budget, your holiday dinner menu, the candy ingredients you need to pick up at the store.
Consider this “putting your brain on paper,” although you should use whatever means works for you, be it your computer, your cell phone, or a note pad. What is important is that you have a central place for these lists and documents, such as a notebook, a folder on your computer desktop or even a shoebox.
Your gift list, however, can stay with you, perhaps on an index card tucked in your wallet. Jot down ideas as well as other helpful information, such as the recipients’ preferred colors, hobbies, and favorite musical artists, and keep track of your purchases. In fact, it is not a bad idea to keep a list with you year-round. That way you can take advantage of sales and pick up unusual gifts when you see them.
Keep things simple:
It is okay to streamline, cut corners or do whatever you need to do to make the holidays a pleasure rather than a chore. This is especially true for the items that are not high on your priority list.
If gift buying is a strain, for example, suggest a gift exchange among siblings, co-workers or other groups that usually give gifts individually. You just might find that others will be relieved at the idea.
Or if you dread the time it takes to prepare treats for your party guests, heat up frozen hors d’oeuvres from the warehouse store or serve a delicious dessert from the bakery. After all, your guests want your company, and a frazzled or cranky host never makes for a pleasant party.
Think of other ways to simplify, perhaps by limiting your decorations or paring your card list to just those people you care about but see infrequently. If you have taken the time to set your priorities, you will know where to cut.
Maintain your perspective:
Sometimes, in the hurry and excitement it is easy to lose sight of what really make us happy. Yes, ribbons and twinkle lights and homemade fudge are all part of the holiday atmosphere, but do they really make or break your celebration? Probably not.
Our fantasies notwithstanding, holidays rarely turn out perfectly. Try to stay flexible so the inevitable mix-ups and disappointments do not throw your celebration into chaos. Get plenty of sleep and exercise so you have the energy to make it through this busy time. Keep your sense of humor remembering that sometimes the screw-ups make the fondest memories.
If you would like more information on “Organize Holiday Tasks to Keep in Good Cheer” feel free to contact Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Emeritus University of Minnesota at waldn001@umn.edu. Be sure to watch for more Family Living Focus information in next week’s paper.