Let’s get one thing straight. What happened to Kyle Beach was an affront to the entire world of hockey and a horrifying act of an organization doing nothing while one of their young players’ life was ruined by sexual abuse. The Chicago Blackhawks knew about Kyle’s abuse at the hands of Brad Aldrich in 2010 and instead chose to cover it up. They knew about this young player’s life being shattered under their umbrella, and instead, focused on winning a Stanley Cup trophy over addressing the real issue at hand: that they harbored a sexual deviant and offender who twice more was responsible for sexually assaulting other people.
In the world, there is a saying, “You reap what you sow”. I hope the Blackhawks as an organization reaps everything for this abominable disgrace. I hope every single person responsible for knowingly covering this up is blackballed from the sport and never allowed to work again, I hope the organization is given the harshest treatment possible and that any respect towards this hockey team is lost.
Sexual abuse is serious, sexual assault is serious. To say you prioritize a Stanley Cup championship over sexual abuse of your own players shows you do not deserve a place in this sport, or in the world. Good riddance to Joel Quenneville, who resigned yesterday from the Florida Panthers. Good riddance to Stan Bowman, the general manager of the Blackhawks who resigned days ago. But that isn’t justice.
Kyle Beach got no justice, only vindication. Maybe now the healing process can begin. I hope that Beach takes everything he can get from the Blackhawks. He deserves all the compensation in the world from an organization that affronted him and pretended nothing happened to a bright, young, 20-year old kid who just wanted to do nothing more than play for the team. Pardon my profanity, but I have one thing to say about the Blackhawks as an organization: “Fuck you. I hope you rot in hell.”
by Tanner Hittesdorf
It’s definitely been a few weeks since my last article, and I must apologize for the long delay in my postings. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to be a writer sometimes. Schedules clash with plans, you’re struggling to come up with any interesting topics, and worst of all is the inability to get out of a rut. Writer’s block isn’t a fun thing, you know. It’s kind of like knowing what to say but not how to say it. Heck, I have so many backed up projects of mine because of writer’s block, I don’t know if I’ll ever finish all of them.
With that said, I still got a job to do, and still have to push through even with this inconvenience. Perhaps I should just write what comes naturally to me, right? It’s easier said than done when you’re brimming with creative ideas and stuff that you want to talk about. Some days are harder than others as well. Working non-stop does nothing to help the creative mind find free-time to write as well. In all honesty, there’s a lot of factors to writer’s block that can’t be easily fixed.
I might write a few more sports takes since Minnesota sports has been in a genuinely good position of late outside of the Timberwolves. Maybe I’ll work on the Westerns series more, since I’m sure there are plenty of people waiting eagerly for that. The fact is, I don’t really know what’s next, but I hope everyone is excited once I find my groove again. Thanks for your patience, dear readers, I’m sure I’ll be coming out with more quality stuff soon.
Monday Night Raw
October 28th, 1996
War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
We are back once again ladies and gentlemen with another exciting, riveting, amusing edition of MONDAY NIGHT RAW! Our show emanates once again from the War Memorial Coliseum in Fort Wayne, Indiana (this show was taped on October 21st, 1996, which is why they’re back in the same stadium). The show opens up with a recap from Superstars where Vince McMahon tells us how Stone Cold Steve brutally attacked his best friend Brian Pillman and broke his ankle (which in reality is because Pillman broke his leg in an auto-accident and still wasn’t clear to wrestle). We also get a highlight of Bret Hart in his home in Calgary, and Austin at WWF Studios in Stanford, Connecticut. Not to mention that Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog is tonight and it’s time to go!
“The Real Double J” Jesse James vs. Salvatore Sincere
Out comes “The Real Double J” Jesse James to his song, “With My Baby Tonight”. He’s got a fluorescent blue sleeveless cowboy jacket. Vince McMahon shows off some photographs with Jesse James during Desert Storm (they are in fact legitimate photographs of Brad Armstrong in the service). Salvatore Sincere, or better known as Tom Brandi, gets the first bit of offense on the match as he pokes JJ in the eyes. Jesse James bounces back and throws Sincere out of the ring. My question is if WWF is trying to push Jesse James as a moderately decent mid-card wrestler, why is he having trouble in the early going against Sincere?
There’s a hilarious spot where Sal Sincere gets in the ropes, signally for the ref to get James away from him. Jesse James looks up at the entrance and points to distract the ref, punching Sincere and continuing his offense. The in-a-year-to-be Road Dogg is pretty good, not gonna lie. His eldest brother Brad Armstrong he is not; but I’d say he’s probably the third or fourth best worker of the Armstrong family. Sal taunts after getting a little offense, and JJ just tosses him off the apron by running the ropes. This match is so weird. Sal Sincere and Jesse James are good workers, but nobody gives two flying flips about this match. The finish of the match sees Sal Sincere get a full-nelson on “The Real Double J”, but James gets out of it and hits a surprise Pump-handle slam for the victory. A short, sweet, and to the point match.
Alright, we got a Survivor Series promotion package with Dox Hendrix. He starts to plug the program, but who is that coming in the rain on everyone’s parade!? It’s Stone Cold Steve Austin, that’s who! He comes in and says that nobody cares about the WWF Hall of Fame; he yells at Dox to hurry up and talk about Stone Cold Steve Austin. Dox hypes up the matches of Survivor Series, such as Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid for the WWF Championship, and classic Survivor Series match between Triple H, Crush, Goldust, and Jerry Lawler vs. Barry Windham, Marc Mero, Rocky Maivia (The Rock), and Mark Henry. He also mentions The Undertaker vs. Mankind with Paul Bearer in a shark cage above the ring! Finally, we get to Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart– Dox mentions that Stone Cold is in the studios while Bret Hart is at home in Calgary…
Now just wait a damn second; Stone Cold is hot and angry. He goes on a tirade about WWF letting Bret Hart stay at home while they drag the greatest wrestler in the world, Steve Austin, all the way to Connecticut from Texas for this stuff. He mentions, “stuff like this is why someone’s gonna get their a** kicked, Dox”. He then shouts that that’s exactly what’s gonna happen to Bret at Survivor Series. Stone Cold Steve Austin is a gold-mine, folks.
Crush w/ Clarence Mason vs. Aldo Montoya
We’re back in action after the commercial break, because Crush is coming to the ring with his lawyer Clarence Mason! On the phone is Wild-Man Marc Mero who is very angry over what happened last week. He mentions that if he sees Mr. Perfect out in public, he’s gonna whoop his a**. He also mentions that Hunter is now the hunted; Marc Mero is surprisingly underrated on the mic.
Now we have to watch the match. Fantastic; Jim Ross joins us on the commentary, and he mentions that this match is as predictable as watching paint dry; something to that effect. The major point is that Ross says that Farooq will have Clarence Mason’s services. Jim Ross just buried this squash match between Crush and Aldo Montoya. Crush dominates Montoya and win’s in just a few minutes. There’s this whole storyline that Crush was apparently in jail and now fans call him “jail-bird” and it makes him angry. After the match he just starts beating down a “fan”.
The Minnesota Wild are somehow 5-3 to start the season and have a new and unique feel to them that I personally don’t think we’ve ever experienced on the team for years. There is a clear youth movement in the Minnesota Wild, and that is in part thanks to the work of one mastermind general manager: Bill Guerin. The team dynamic feels fast, loose, and for the first time since the days of Jacques Lemaire, fun.
Let’s first start with the youth movement. There’s clearly some big players still left from the old-guard, Ryan Suter and Zach Parise most noticeably, but there is Jared Spurgeon (who is on the wrong side of 30), Backup goalie Alex Stalock (33), Marcus Foligno (29), Jonas Brodin (27), and Matt Dumba (26). While Spurgeon and Foligno are continuing to play at a decent level, Suter and Parise’s ages are catching up to them at a creeping pace. Of the old guard, the few who definitely have a few solid years left are Spurgeon, Foligno, and Dumba.
The new guard brings much needed speed and skill to the team, including but not exclusively, Karill Kaprizov (23), Marco Rossi (19), Jordan Greenway (23), Joel Eriksson Ek (24), goaltender Kaapo Khäkönen (24), and Kevin Fiala (24). What makes them so unique is that they all seem to mesh together well, and are playing at a high level so early in their careers. Karill Kaprizov currently stands as the odds on favorite to become the winner of the coveted Calder Cup. Kaprizov was drafted by the Wild in 2015 and had been hyped by both the franchise and the fan-base for the coming years. With his incredible debut, it appears that the hype was bang-on. Unfortunately, Marco Rossi is unable to play due to injury and it may be likely he will be bumped down to the Iowa Wild for recuperation before coming back. Khakonen currently stands as the secondary backup to Cam Talbot and Stalock. That leaves Fiala, Ek, Greenway, and Nico Sturm (25). Sturm has shown flashes of excellence at times, and Fiala, Ek, and Greenway’s skills are fairly well known due to having been on the team the last few years.
The next best thing regarding the team is thanks in part to the head coach himself: Dean Evason. Evason is a clear difference from his predecessor, the bull-headed and futile Bruce Boudreau. Evason seems to have garnered the respect of his players and this may have to do with his style of coaching. When Boudreau was hired in 2016, his focus was on slow, safe, and defensive play with offensive flair. This could work with solid goaltending and with a lead, but was disastrous in other circumstances, such as being down several goals or when your goalie is tiring. This was most exacerbated in the 2019, with former goaltender Devan Dubnyk’s career nadir. Instead, Dean has focused nearly entirely on fast, quick paced offense with a notably defensive flair. With the addition of notably solid goalie Cam Talbot (who is likely a one year rental to set up Khäkönen), Minnesota’s defensive woes have seemingly disappeared. The play on the ice is notably faster paced, more exciting, and leads to more scoring opportunities than Boudreau’s old style.
While it is much too early to tell whether the 5-3 start is a fluke, I think in two year’s time, we will possibly get to understand the trajectory that this team is taking. Let’s hope for the best, and let us ride on the capes of Bill Geurin and Dean Evason that maybe someday Minnesota will crawl out of the pit of playoff futility.
By Tanner Hittesdorf
Well, we’re now several weeks past the year 2020 Common Era, and the after-effects are still somewhat present. COVID is still ravaging the United States and other parts of the world, politics have never been worse than since the American Civil War and the Roman Civil Wars of the 1st Century B.C.E, and it seems that things are simply getting worse. However, there are a few bright spots in this new year that should bring some comfort. Allow me to shed some light on them
Perhaps the biggest piece of comfort is the release of a vaccine for COVID-19, which for all intents and purposes, will hopefully end the pandemic by this summer. There are rumors of a worse strain being discovered in the United Kingdom, however, so who knows what COVID will bring for the year of 2020. However, with the government now more focused than ever on stemming the tide of the virus, perhaps the second strain will be defeated faster than the original. There is some time for optimism to linger through the dark clouds of the past before judgements are made.
The inauguration of Joseph Biden for President of the United States had also passed without much incident despite a lot of talk from the folks radicalized right-wing intent. Though both the extreme left and extreme right are disconcerted at the idea of a centrist President, Biden’s message is one of unification and reconciliation. Perhaps things will finally no longer be gridlocked within Congress. With a Democratic controlled House of Representatives and now Senate, perhaps policy will be able to be pushed through and finally new legislation will go into law. There is perhaps no better time for Bipartisan bills to pass than now with Biden, very much a Democratic centrist, in the White House.
Then of course, will be the end of politics being treated as “reality television”, and a joke for cheap ratings plugs of 24-hour news cycles like CNN and FOX. Perhaps politics will go back to a more respectful time when policy was debated and ad hominem was left at the door. Politicians will hopefully focus on healthy and meaningful debate, instead of the negligent dog and pony show of extremism. With time, perhaps cretins like Ted Cruz and Marjorie Taylor Greene (noted Sandy Hook & Parkland “truther” and QAnon member) will be removed from office for their part in stoking the fears and madness on January 6th, and the aftermath of it.
Maybe by the end of this year, fans will be able to go out in full force for their favorite sport without fear of infection. Sports have served as a somewhat serviceable distraction from the madness and horror of 2020, but perhaps with 2021, revived interest in being able to travel to see live events will spark an extra boost to the economy that is desperately needed. Perhaps things will finally go back to normal in a time where some sense of normalcy is wanted by the American public.
So here’s to 2021. May this year be less dreary, and finally have a glimmer of hope that has been missing for the last five years. Let’s hope your year is a good one. We all need a good one.
WWF
In Your House: Buried Alive
October 20, 1996
Market Square Arena, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 9,649
We arrive at our first Pay-Per-View on our journey through these retro wrestling reviews, and of course it is one of the more infamous WWF shows: In Your House: Buried Alive. The show took place at the old Market Square Arena in Indianapolis, Indiana. 9,649 fans were in attendance for this show, and on commentary we had the regular crew of Vince McMahon, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Jim Ross. The show kicks off with a promo package for Mankind vs. The Undertaker in the Main Event: a Buried Alive match! We instantly start getting technical difficulties as Jim Ross’s microphone and headset just aren’t working… and I for the life of me cannot tell if this is a rib (a wrestling term for a practical joke) or a shoot (another wrestling term for legitimate).
Out comes Hunter Hearst Helmsley for the first match of the night, and who is it against? Well it’s Steve Austin of course! Wasn’t he supposed to be facing off against Savio Vega!? Apparently Savio got injured, so Hunter is inserted into this match instead. That’s not the only match that’s been messed up on the card. Apparently Ahmed Johnson injured Farooq so now the Intercontinental Championship match is Marc Mero vs. Goldust.
We get a quick backstage promo between Kevin Kelly and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Austin is asked if his game plan has changed, to which he states he has a list, and everyone’s on it, so it doesn’t change “a damn bit”. He then declares that Savio Vega isn’t actually hurt, and that he knows it for a fact. He gives Hunter some credit for being a man and stepping up to challenge Stone Cold; Austin then pivots to Bret Hart coming onto RAW tomorrow night. He hopes it’s Bret’s retirement announcement, because if not, Austin is going to retire him then — and that’s the bottom line. Austin also has an amazing jab at people who, at this time, were getting pretty persnickety with some of the language he was using, and in his own words, “they can just kiss my a**”. I love Steve Austin; he is, in fact, the best thing going in wrestling at this time (unless you’re into the nWo).
Steve Austin vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley w/ His Valet
The match starts off pretty slowly for the most part, quite a bit of stalling and slight wrestling holds for no apparent reason. Austin does flip Hunter the double bird to a pretty remarkable reaction following a takeover hold, and God bless this crowd, even with nothing happening, they start chanting “Perfect” in reference to Mr. Perfect’s problems with Hunter. I actually think the stalling makes a bit of sense, considering they are two heels that nobody likes (except for Austin, everyone likes Austin, even if the WWF doesn’t want you to yet). A great spot is when Hunter slaps Austin, whom immediately slaps the pi** out of Hunter’s face in response. Once the match gets going, it gets good. It actually starts to turn into a pretty solid technical match and this crowd is all into it. Obviously, Hunter is the bigger heel of the match as he cheats constantly to gain an advantage. The middle of the match saw a nice sleeper hold battle where each guy would irish whip each other to prevent being knocked out, ending in Austin hitting a modified Stunner. Austin only got a two count, though. A good sequence in my opinion and I’m actually all for this match. Austin is extremely giving to the future Triple H.
Out comes Mr. Perfect and this crowd goes nuts. He distracts Triple H yet again, who gets attacked from behind by Austin. Austin, unsurprisingly, gets in the face of Perfect, who yells, “Don’t you ever get in my face!”. The cojones of Mr. Perfect is not lost on Austin or anyone else, ladies and gentlemen, because Perfect grabs Austin’s tights and starts jaw-jacking with him. Austin backs off, and like a heel, throws a cup of water on him when he has his back turned. Perfect is hot and tries to go after Austin, but Austin gets into the ring and eats some punches by Hunter. Hunter has the match won as he’s about to hit the Pedigree, but dag-nabbit, he’s still miffed about Perfect stealing his lady and goes after him. Austin attacks Hunter from behind and Perfect still wants a piece of Austin. Look at all of this storytelling (that will inevitably be rendered useless in the very near future)!
Austin has a suplex countered and he takes a bump on the solid concrete, which is ouch, ouch, ouch. The finish sees Austin missing his attack on the ropes, but recovering while Hunter doesn’t realize. Austin hits the Stone Cold Stunner and bada bing, bada boom, Austin wins this match in a pretty scant 15 minutes. This was a good match and a pretty solid opener. I think this is much better than what any Austin/Vega match could have been.
(Action in Motion)
So following the match we got ourselves a video package for the Smoking Gunns vs. Owen Hart & Davey Boy Smith. It essentially recaps the troubles between the Smoking Gunns, with Bart Gunn focused on the tag-team championships, and Billy Gunn more focused on manager Sunny. It all comes to a head when Owen Hart & Davey Boy Smith win the WWF Tag Team Championships from the Gunns, causing Sunny to quit on them. It’s now about the Smoking Gunns fighting to not only win back the WWF Tag Team Championships, but Sunny as well. After the video package we get a Michael P.S. Hayes (until further notice to be referred to as Dox Hendrix) interview with the Smoking Gunns. Hendrix throws right to Billy and asks about Sunny and his obsession with her, and whether Billy can refocus on the championships without her. Billy Gunn mentions that she’s probably still around somewhere and when *he* beats the Bulldog and Owen, *he’ll* get Sunny back. Bart is flustered and tries to spell out that they’re a tag team and thus it’s “*we*”, but Billy just steamrolls over him.
WWF World Tag Team Championships
The Smoking Gunns vs. The British Bulldog and Owen Hart (c) w/ Clarence Mason
We get the WWF Tag Team Championships between The Smoking Gunns and the champions Owen Hart and Davey Boy Smith. Billy Gunn is clearly heeling it up for the crowd, being overly confident and arrogant. Owen and Bulldog are a great tag team in all honesty. This is an okay match in all fairness. Sunny watches backstage, if for no other reason than just to get Sunny involved in the show; she is wearing like a beautiful red evening gown. A major spot is Bart Gunn fighting out of a sleeper hold, and running into the ropes, but look out!
Billy Gunn is in the middle of the apron jaw-jacking with Bulldog and eats the brunt of Bart running into the ropes. Billy goes flying and Bart looks distraught! Billy and Bart are arguing and this is where the story of the match comes in. The Smoking Gunns are just unable to work together as they are just on two different wavelengths. I will say this about Billy Gunn though, he is a great tag-team worker, but a bad singles performer. Once Smoking Gunns start controlling the match though, they find a way to just do enough to stay on the same page. But the finish of the match is actually pretty great. The Smoking Gunns are just about to hit their finishing move on Owen, but in comes Bulldog, who pulls Bart away, causing Billy to miss Owen entirely; Bulldog drags Bart out of the ring, Owen hits the flying side kick on Billy, and gets the 1-2-3 for the victory. An okay match, but it’s obvious Owen and Bulldog dragged Bart to a good match.
After the match in comes Jim Ross who has had enough of these shenanigans and “technical difficulties” which I now believe is a total work. And Jim Ross cuts a damned scathing promo on Vince McMahon and tells everyone that Bret “Hitman” Hart will be in Fort Wayne, Indiana for tomorrow night’s RAW. He takes credit for bringing back Hart, as well. Ross tells everyone that Hart may be bringing a shovel because he’s going to bury some folks. He finally says that since Vince McMahon talks out of both sides of his mouth, he can have two mics. JR leaves in a huff.
Up next is a WWF Free For All interview from earlier in the night with Farooq and Ahmad. We now understand why Farooq is no longer challenging for the WWF Intercontinental Championship against Marc Mero. Ahmed had attacked him with a 2×4 and injured him. Classy, Ahmed, classy. Out next comes Mr. Perfect who is chatting with Jim Ross. He joins the commentary table and I’m all hype. It’s now very clear that the broken mic was just a gimmick; which I’m personally not cool with. Why distract from the matches for this silly cr**? Perfect is so good on commentary.
In the back we get Marc Mero whom Jerry Lawler talks directly to. He asks if Marc Mero is getting cold feet after learning he has to face off against the “Bizarre One” Goldust. Mero mentions he’s too focused on the match. Lawler says that every time Mero and Goldust have faced off, Mero has lost, to which Mero responds with “I’m the champ, and you’re the chump, buddy!” Mero is not the greatest on the mic, but this was pretty funny.
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Goldust w/ Marlena vs. Marc Mero (c) w/ Sable
We start off this match with Goldust playing his usual mind games, but Mero having none of it. Man, when Marc Mero was younger he could fly around the ring was actually a pretty good wrestler. One annoying thing is Goldust’s glitter being all over the damn ring. Goldust sucked in the ring though at this time in his life. He sure could bump like a boss though. There’s actually not much to actually say about this match, it isn’t bad but it’s just so mediocre. It’s actually pretty sad that the Intercontinental Championship was held by Goldust for most of the year outside of short runs by Ahmed Johnson and Marc Mero. A few years ago you had guys like Mr. Perfect, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, and Razor Ramon holding it. At least the Intercontinental Championship would see better days real soon.
There is one sequence I will concede was good though, and that was when both Goldust and Mero were running the ropes, Mero hits a big crossbody on Goldust, only gets a two, and then eats a clothesline from Goldust. Immediately afterwards, Goldust gets on the mic and tells the crowd to “shut the hell up”. He then says if the crowd doesn’t be quiet he’s gonna go out there and stick his thong… somewhere. That was a bad strategy as Marc Mero recovers immediately and hits an amazing backflip crossbody onto Goldust. It was a legitimately great spot in this otherwise boring match. I will say the second half of this match is great. Mr. Perfect is having none of what referee Mike Chioda is doing, and goes out to help get Marc Mero in the ring when he’s dumped outside.
Out comes Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Hunter and Perfect jaw-jack for a bit and while Goldust tries to blindside Perfect; it doesn’t work, Perfect knocks his teeth out, and since the ref didn’t see, it’s not a DQ. Mero hits the Samoan Drop on Goldust and it’s time for the finish. Marc Mero hits the Wild Thing and Marc Mero has successfully defended the Intercontinental Championship. Perfect, Sable, and Mero celebrate in the ring.
Up next we get a video package for the biggest hoss fight ever seen this side of 1996: Sycho Sid vs. Vader. The whole story is Vader claims Sid stole Vader’s powerbomb so the two are duking it out for the #1 Contender’s spot against Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series. Out comes Sycho Sid with his awesome theme, and this man is over like Elvis came back from the dead. Sycho Sid is one of those guys who is so awesome despite being so bad at wrestling. He is indeed the master and ruler of the world.
Sycho Sid vs. Vader w/ Jim Cornette
Right before the match, Shawn Michaels comes out to a thunderous applause. He shakes hands with Sid, but talks smack with Vader and Jim Cornette, then kicks Corny in the butt. Aaaaand we’re off! This hoss match has both big men attacking each other with big power moves and I love it. Shawn Michaels joins us on commentary and he essentially spends all match hyping up Sid. Jim Cornette absolutely whacks Sid over the back with his trademark tennis racket, and right away, it is Vader’s match to win. Sid had one of the funniest moves of the entire match: a sunset flip to Vader… a sunset. flip. For reference, that is diving over the top rope and over your opponent while holding their waist to get a pinfall. It was hilarious, to say the least. For reference, Sycho Sid is 6’9″, and Vader is over 400 pounds. It looked hideous, which is why I’m laughing at this.
There’s an amazing spot where Vader eats a big boot from Sid, and Sid tries to do a diving crossbody off the top rope… That didn’t work out the way Sid wanted it to, as he gets caught by Vader, who slams him down like he was nothing. I love this match. It’s not a stellar display of technical ability, but it’s just two big dudes beating the the sh** out of each other, and I’m all for it. Vader goes for the Vader bomb and eats some knees to the stomach. Now comes Sid’s big comeback. Shawn is going absolutely nuts on the mic.
Sid tries to go for the powerbomb, but notices Jim Cornette sneaking into the ring, he lifts the ropes violently to hurt Jimmy’s crown jewels. Turnabout is fair play though as Vader low-blows Sid while the ref is tending to Cornette. Vader goes for a powerbomb of his own, but Sid powers his way out and hits a chokeslam for the win! Sycho Sid just beat Vader! Shawn Michaels and Sycho Sid will be facing off against each other at Survivor Series! Shawn and Sid exchange words but shake hands and part as friends… for now.
Backstage we get Dox Hendrix interviewing Sycho Sid. Out comes Jim Ross to take over the entire interview. Poor Dox, man got cut in by both JR and Vince McMahon. JR asks the tough question: Is Sycho Sid willing to do anything it takes, including injuring Shawn Michaels, to become the WWF Champion. Of course Sid is willing to, he’s the master and ruler of the world of course. Sycho Sid stumbles and mumbles his way through this promo but he gets the point across.
We finally come to the main event of the evening. A video package displays the entirety of Undertaker vs. Mankind. We get some pretty violent clips from between the post-WrestleMania XII RAW, and up until In Your House: Mind Games intermixed with The Undertaker and Mankind cutting promos. This was a pretty good video and honestly, WWF is great at doing videos.
Buried Alive Match
Mankind w/ Paul Bearer vs. The Undertaker
So the premise for the match is pretty simple, the objective is to bury your opponent alive. These kinds of matches could literally only work with someone like The Undertaker. Now this is less like a big hoss match and more a straight up brawl. Mankind and Taker beat the ever-loving pi** out of one another. The first bump of the match is Mankind falling head first into the guard rails, which is ouchies. Mick Foley has probably taken more bumps to the head than anyone in wrestling history. Taker dives off the top rope to the outside and lands on Mankind. This match is okay. They have a giant set placed in the entrance way with the open grave where they start brawling at and trying to throw each other into. Mankind uses a shovel to attack Taker.
They begin fighting their way back to the ring after Taker recovers from the shovel attack quickly, and if you haven’t noticed, there’s a lot of brawling in this match. Just brawling all day long. For over 18 God-forsaken minutes these two men beat the absolute crud out of one another. I was honestly surprised neither man was busted open by the end of it. So they’re back at ringside, and Taker is utterly killing poor Mick. Undertaker is choking Mankind with microphone cords; Jerry Lawler quips “I haven’t seen this much choking since the Cardinals played the Braves”. Timely joke Lawler! They go into the crowd they go, and Taker has an awesome spot where he dives over the guard-rail to attack Mankind. He just barely makes it over the rail because his foot absolutely caught the bottom of it.
Undertaker prepares for his Old School move (walking on the ropes), but Paul Bearer shakes the ropes and poor Taker falls right on the family jewels. It’s here that Mankind takes over the match, trying desperately to disfigure Taker. A reminder that Mankind has a victory over Undertaker at SummerSlam just this year. Taker mounts a comeback but Paul Bearer hands Mankind a foreign object and of course Taker takes the brunt of it. It honestly looks like a taped up pencil or something.
Turnabout is fair play because Taker gives him a taste of his own medicine. Jerry Lawler is such a heel that he says it’s okay if Mankind uses the foreign object in a No DQ match but isn’t okay if Taker is. Taker starts to go after Paul Bearer, and Mankind sneaks up behind him, but Taker sees it coming! Mankind goes down, so Bearer hits Taker with the urn… Taker turns around and looks madder than a pack of rabid dogs. He starts going after Bearer again but he finally eats a chair to the head from Mankind.
Mankind drags Taker back to the site of the grave and now the two begin yet another brawl at the grave site. Into the grave goes Taker… Mankind starts to dig, but Taker drags him in! The two are now fighting in the grave, with Mankind doing everything in his power to stop Taker from coming back. Another great spot is Undertaker hip-tossing Mankind off the set and down to the floor below. Mick Foley, I love you, but this is why you can barely walk in 2020.
Back to the ring they go. Is this getting repetitive? I’m glad you agree. It’s not like it’s a bad match though. Mankind hits a sweet looking piledriver and tries to pin Taker… in a match where pinfall doesn’t count. Taker mounts a comeback here but Mankind is one step ahead. Paul Bearer gives him a chair and DDT’s Taker into the chair. Taker sells it like death… before he of course sits up and begins thwacking the crud out of Mick Foley’s back and face. It is not pretty, ladies and gentlemen.
Mankind tries next to pile drive Taker onto concrete, but Taker backdrops him right onto the “steel” steps. Mankind has to be feeling a lot of pain, because Taker heaves those steps as hard as he can at Mick Foley’s face. Undertaker lands the Tombstone Piledriver, and it is all over for Mankind. Taker literally carries him to the grave. Mankind lands the Mandible Claw right on Taker to get a last minute grasp of strength. Paul Bearer tosses Mankind the urn, and he’s just about to hit Taker with it, when Undertaker grasps Mankind on the throat and hits the chokeslam right into the grave! Mankind is dead, folks. Taker wins the match, thankfully. What a long, long match. At least it was a nice brawl between the two.
After the match, Undertaker tosses refs off the set and continues burying Mankind. From behind comes the debuting Executioner (really just Terry Gordy in a mask, but don’t ask, long story) from behind with a shovel and cracks Taker over the head with it. Ouch. They dig out Mankind and toss Taker in, starting to bury him themselves. This is a painfully long segment and funnily enough several heels from the back hop on out to help bury Taker as “thunder and lightning” strike in the background or whatever. This literally, I kid you not, goes on for over eight minutes. Good God. Crush, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Goldust, Bradshaw… Why are these guys helping out? Who cares, get that grave filled as fast as possible darn it! Honestly, a nice visual is the fans throwing trash because of the preposterous situation before them.
Eventually the thunder and lightning scare away the peanut gallery as well as Mankind, The Executioner, and Paul Bearer. Everyone thinks Taker is dead… when suddenly lightning strikes a shovel etched in the grave and a hand pops out from the grave (oh how obvious they were gonna do something like this. Thus ends In Your House: Buried Alive. Unironically this is a good show that is kinda underrated. Hunter vs. Austin is probably my favorite match of the night, Smoking Gunns vs. Bulldog & Owen is okay, standard tag-team affair for the time, Mero vs. Goldust is arguably the worst match of the night, and even it wasn’t bad. Sid vs. Vader was a fun hoss-fight that had so many hilarious and awesome spots, and the main event was just one long brawl with big spot after spot. So yeah, for our first Pay-Per-View being covered, pretty darn good. We’ll check up on RAW next time we come together.
by Tanner Hittesdorf
There are no two ways about it. Last Wednesday’s blatant attack on the United States Capitol was abhorrent, ill-conceived, and drenched in seditious rhetoric. It was a clear attempt by an extremely vocal minority that they do not care for the democratic process of the United States of America. This attack on the Capitol is one of the most shocking events to have come during the tenure of one of the most divisive Presidents in United States history; let us not mistake nor lie to ourselves however, he was at the forefront of this callous and shallow attempt of a citizen coup.
For months, the President of the United States has made several claims of voter fraud within several states, all of which he was defeated by Joe Biden within. In court Donald Trump’s lawyers failed to frame any evidence based on realistic facts or convincing theses; instead, they utilized rhetoric as their weapon for a small minority of extremist supporters. Occam’s Razor dictates that, “Of many explanations, the simplest one is likely to be correct.” As such, without proper or decisive evidence, there are two possible explanations of Joe Biden’s successful bid for the President of the United States. One is that voter fraud was rampant in the election and was paramount to his victory. The other was that more people in the United States voted (be that in the booth, by mail, or by absentee ballot) for Biden than Trump. All things being equal, the simplest answer is the likeliest. Therefore, without any evidence to prove otherwise, the realest answer is that Joe Biden won the election fair and justly.
Two other philosophical and logical razors used in debate are the Sagan Standard (named after Carl Sagan) and the Hitchen’s Razor (named after Christopher Hitchens). The Sagan Standard states that, “extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence” whereas Hitchen’s Razor is similar in scope, “that which is asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.” Both principles are based in similar logic, as is Russell’s teapot, which are all based on burden of proof. The claim that the 2020 United States election was mired in voter fraud perpetrated by the Democratic party is an incredible claim. It comes with a high burden of proof. However, little to no proof has actually been presented when given the opportunity to by several members of the Republican party. Without any evidence, the logical conclusion should be to dismiss the claim without needing to disprove it oneself.
It is terrifying that such events are happening in part to a delusional minority that wishes to destroy democracy as we currently know it. I have no wishes to associate with anyone that truly believes these unfounded, foolish, and seditious beliefs in earnest. I said months ago that it was a time for coming together and looking forward to the future. Several members of society have made me disappointed in their failure to do so, and thus I cannot sit idly by and let them poison the well with horrifying rhetoric. We cannot let domestic terrorists continue to destroy our great nation any longer.
