Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota       

Traveling for the holidays?  Share these travel-health measures with your loved ones and the elders you work with who may be flying with the reindeer or driving over the river and through the woods this holiday season.  Immobility from hours of sitting in airplanes, cars, and trains is a risk factor for developing deep vein thrombosis (DVT), a blood clot that forms in the deep veins usually located in the large muscles of an arm or leg.  A life-threatening condition arises when such clots break off and travel to the lungs.

Airline magazines and the occasional news article encourage airplane travelers to stretch their legs, rotate their feet, raise, and stretch their arms while taking deep breaths, and walk around to avoid the dangers of immobility.  Those taking to the highways are encouraged to stop at least every two hours to stretch, which can also help drivers stay awake.

It is recommended that air travelers take the following steps to lower their risk of DVT:

• Wear loose-fitting clothing.
• Store hand luggage in the overhead bins to keep the room under the seat free for moving feet and legs.
• Bend and straighten legs, feet, and toes every half-hour while seated during the flight.
• Avoid taking sleeping pills, which encourage sleep that discourages stretching and walking.

More good news is that airline travelers can reduce their risk for DVT by staying hydrated, limiting caffeine and alcohol intake, and wearing support stockings.  In certain circumstances, doctors may also recommend taking blood-thinning medications.

Extended travel is not the only contributing factor to DVT, it is a silent killer that can have few or no symptoms.  DVT prevention can be one of the best holiday gifts that you can give to yourself and your clients.

If you would like more information on “Safe Holiday Travels” feel free to contact Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Emeritus University of Minnesota at waldn001@umn.edu.  Be sure to watch for more Family Living Focus information in next week’s paper.    

Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota      

Indulge in rich foods over the holiday season and you may wind up paying the price in extra pounds.  While research shows that most people do not gain as much weight as they fear they will over the holidays, many cannot seem to lose their holiday pounds afterward. The extra weight can build up over the years and contribute to obesity later in life.  Why not make this the year you reverse the trend and stop gaining weight over the holidays?

Weight gain over the holidays is a large part of the typical weight gain that adults have over the years.  Studies found that almost all the weight people had gained over the course of a year could be explained by the pounds they added over the holiday period. That is why it is particularly important to make sure you maintain your weight during the holiday season.

Maintaining weight is a matter of balance, specifically energy balance.  If you take in more calories than you burn in physical activity, you store the extra energy around your body, mostly as fat, and gain weight.  To maintain your weight, you need to balance the energy you take in with the energy you burn.  You do not have to balance your calories every day.  It is the balance over time that determines whether you can maintain a healthy weight overall.

Our bodies’ energy controls are very accurate.  Over the course of the year the average adult consumes about 912,500 calories.  Someone who eats just an extra 4,050 calories or so a year will gain a pound over the course of that year.  That is only about 11 calories a day.  To put this in perspective, break a rice cake into 4 pieces or a pretzel rod into 10. One piece is 11 calories.  Very small imbalances that would be easy to miss could account for the average weight gain.

Genetics and other factors affect how your body uses the calories you consume.  Still, the only way to gain weight is by taking in more calories than you burn.  If you are

overweight, talk to your doctor about how to lose those extra pounds.  If you keep your weight in check for most of the year but have trouble during the holidays the following advice might help.

First, be active.  People who reported being much more active maintained their weight or even lost weight during the holidays.  Those who reported being less active gained the most during this period.  If you exercise regularly, keep it up over the holidays.  If you are not active now, get started and make a serious resolution to stick with it.  Add physical activity to your daily routine, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or walk briskly in the mall.  If a holiday party includes danc­ing, join in!

If you have any control over the scheduling of holiday food celebra­tions, make them at normal mealtimes.  Holding celebrations outside of normal mealtimes encourages people to pile on excess calories.  If your celebration is at a regular mealtime, revelers will be more likely to eat responsibly.

When you are at a holiday celebra­tion, watch out for soda and other sweetened beverages. A 12-ounce can of soda can have more than 150 calories.  A 16-ounce glass of punch or lemonade can have over 200 calo­ries.  Do not overdo natural fruit juices, either, since they also carry many calories.  It is best to go with calorie-free bottled water, plain or sparkling, when it is available.  Diet beverages made with artificial sweeteners can help you control your calories at celebrations, although drinking them on a regular basis may not help with long-term weight control.

Alcohol can be a major source of hidden calories as well. A single shot of liquor, about 2 ounces, is nearly 125 calories.  A 5-ounce glass of wine or a 12-ounce glass of beer is about 160.  Sweet mixed drinks have even more calories.  An 8-ounce margarita, for example, has 240 calories.

Choose foods that are lower in energy density, meaning they have fewer calories for their size.  You’ll feel fuller sooner and take in fewer calo­ries.  So, for example, start out your meal with a salad or soup.  Skip the second helpings of stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy; go for more vegetables instead.  If you’re bringing dessert, serve angel food cake, gingerbread or fruit instead of brownies, pound cake or chocolate cake.

One good strategy is to try to avoid high-fat foods.  Fat in itself may not be the key to weight control as people once thought, but it does have high energy density.  If you cut back on foods that are high in fat, you will likely cut down on the calories.  Use low-fat or skim milk instead of whole milk or half-and-half.  Skip the butter.  Eat your turkey without the skin.  Cut away the visible fat from meats.

Other strategies are to eat a healthy snack before a holiday cele­bration to avoid overeating later, and to use smaller plates when they are available.  There is fairly good evidence to suggest that the bigger the plate and the more food that’s on the plate, the more people will eat at a given meal.

No matter how much you weigh, it is wise to watch your weight over the holidays.  It is better to keep it off now than to try to lose it later.

Here are some tips for keeping weight off during the holidays:

• Physical activity.  People who are more active are more likely to maintain their weight during the holidays.
• Limit alcohol consump­tion.  Alcohol can be a major source of hidden calories.
• Limit soda and other sweet­ened beverages.  These drinks add extra calories, too.
• Schedule holiday food cel­ebrations at normal mealtimes.  Celebrations outside of normal mealtimes encourage people to pile on extra calories.
• Choose foods with fewer calories.  Foods with fewer calories for their size make you feel fuller sooner.
• Use smaller plates.  The bigger your plate and the more food that is on it, the more you are likely to eat in the end.
• Eat a healthy snack beforehand.  You will be less likely to eat a lot of fattening food at the party.
• Weigh yourself daily.  And plan how you will get back on track if your weight begins to creep up.

If you would like more information on “Hold Off Those Extra Holiday Pounds” feel free to contact Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Emeritus University of Minnesota at waldn001@umn.edu.  Be sure to watch for more Family Living Focus information in next week’s paper.

December is a time to support the elementary and high school students as they present concerts and programs at the local schools. Sleepy Eye Public school will host a concert on Monday, December 9 at 6 p.m. in the High School Gym. It will feature students in kindertgarten through fourth grade. Then on Monday, December 16, music students in grades 5-12 will perform at 5 p.m. in the High School gym.

Programs scheduled for St. Mary’s students will be on Wednesday, December 11, 6:30 p.m. for the elementary program in the school auditorium. On Wednesday, December 18, band and choir students will entertain attendees at 7 p.m.

The ECFE holiday event will be on Friday, December 6, 5:30-7 p.m. Remember to sign up early so supplies will be available. This event will take place in the Sleepy Eye School Cafeteria.

Open gym for preschoolers is planned for Saturday, December 7, 10:30 a.m. to 12 noon. It is a great time for children to have some indoor exercise during the cold weather months. Come to the Sleepy Eye School Elementary Gym for this event.

A small fee is requested for the events or items for the local food shelf.

Residents of Sleepy Eye School District that are 60+ years of age are reminded of the VIP Senior Citizen Athletic Passes offered by Sleepy Eye Public School. This complimentary pass allows the bearer free entry to all regularly scheduled Sleepy Eye Public School varsity home athletic events. During the winter sports season, this would be for boys and/or girls basketball games.  The first home girls basketball game is Friday, December 6.

Passes are not required for entry to junior high games which are generally scheduled for the elementary gym. The pass is not valid for tournaments of post season games. Call 507-794-7873 to get a pass. Passes do not expire but if one was lost or thrown away, contact this office for a replacement.

The Community Education office is located in Room 109 of the Sleepy Eye High School.  School day office hours are 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., most weekdays. If the office is unattended, you can call and leave a message on voice mail, 507-794-7873, and we will get back to you with more information. Another option is to email staff with questions and to sign-up pat.stevermer@sleepyeye.mntm.org or  sandy.brinkman@sleepyeye.mntm.org

Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota     

Organizing your holiday tasks will reduce your stress and will leave you the time and energy to enjoy the holidays.  Do not let this upcoming holiday season become the season of stress as you anticipate all those cards to write, gifts to buy, cookies to bake, ornaments to hang and guests to entertain.

The good news is there are still several weeks to prepare.  With a little organization, it really is possible to get through the season with your spirit and your sanity still intact.  The trick is in planning and setting priorities to help you focus on what is important and avoid spreading yourself too thin.

If you cringe at the thought of getting organized, do not despair.  This is not about obsessing over perfectly clean counters or a color-coded gift list.  It is about making a little effort up front to save a lot more effort in the long run.

Following are six suggestions to help organize your holiday tasks:

 Take stock of your resources:

When we think of resources, we think of money, but our resources also include our time and energy.  If you think of each of these elements as limited, you are more likely to dole them out judiciously.

Spend time now assessing how much you have of each, and then keep those limitations in mind as the season progresses.  You do not want to find yourself swept up in good intentions that leave you too tired, time-pressed, or broke to enjoy the holidays.

It is okay to talk money with your family members, especially with the adults and older children.  If they understand budget realities, they are less likely to have overblown expectations and a big disappointment during your holiday gathering.

 Look at the big picture:

What would your ideal holiday look like?  Surprisingly, few of us spend much time considering that.  Instead, we tend to do the same things year after year, assuming everyone in the family is happy with it.

Put more thought and decision-making into holiday activities and chores as a way to help you set priorities and avoid wasting your finite resources on the expendable things.

Get the whole family involved in looking at the big picture.  That way, everyone’s wishes are heard, and nobody can shift the blame if things do not turn out as hoped.

You might be surprised by what you learn.  Maybe your family members are not particularly fond of bumping along on a horse-drawn wagon in search of the perfect holiday tree.  Maybe your spouse prefers chocolate covered Oreos to home-baked sugar cookies.

Be especially wary of those things we label traditions.  Just because you have done something in the past does not mean you have to keep repeating it.  Do what you really want to do, not what you think you ought to do.

And do not let others’ expectations dictate your choices.  You need to be able to give yourself permission to say no.

 Make a schedule:

Once you have determined what you want to accomplish – keeping your resources in mind – it is time to commit it to paper.  Let each family member choose one activity he or she would really enjoy and write those priorities in ink on the family’s calendar.  Be sure to include all the children/grandchildren’s’ holiday pageants, school concerts and other important commitments, too.

The less important activities get marked in pencil so they can be eliminated easily if time, money, or energy runs short.

Schedule activities such as gift shopping, tree decorating and cookie baking as well as “down” time to be spent with the family.  If that seems a little too controlled, consider writing things down to free your mind which will reduces stress.  It also helps you see concretely how much time you really have.  If you can see it in writing, then you will be better able to visualize getting it done.

 Get it in writing:

Stress is compounded by forgetting things so put everything you can in writing including your card list, your budget, your holiday dinner menu, the candy ingredients you need to pick up at the store.

Consider this “putting your brain on paper,” although you should use whatever means works for you, be it your computer, your cell phone, or a note pad.  What is important is that you have a central place for these lists and documents, such as a notebook, a folder on your computer desktop or even a shoebox.

Your gift list, however, can stay with you, perhaps on an index card tucked in your wallet.  Jot down ideas as well as other helpful information, such as the recipients’ preferred colors, hobbies, and favorite musical artists, and keep track of your purchases.  In fact, it is not a bad idea to keep a list with you year-round.  That way you can take advantage of sales and pick up unusual gifts when you see them.

 Keep things simple:

It is okay to streamline, cut corners or do whatever you need to do to make the holidays a pleasure rather than a chore.  This is especially true for the items that are not high on your priority list.

If gift buying is a strain, for example, suggest a gift exchange among siblings, co-workers or other groups that usually give gifts individually.  You just might find that others will be relieved at the idea.

Or if you dread the time it takes to prepare treats for your party guests, heat up frozen hors d’oeuvres from the warehouse store or serve a delicious dessert from the bakery. After all, your guests want your company, and a frazzled or cranky host never makes for a pleasant party.

Think of other ways to simplify, perhaps by limiting your decorations or paring your card list to just those people you care about but see infrequently.  If you have taken the time to set your priorities, you will know where to cut.

 Maintain your perspective:

Sometimes, in the hurry and excitement it is easy to lose sight of what really make us happy. Yes, ribbons and twinkle lights and homemade fudge are all part of the holiday atmosphere, but do they really make or break your celebration?  Probably not.

Our fantasies notwithstanding, holidays rarely turn out perfectly.  Try to stay flexible so the inevitable mix-ups and disappointments do not throw your celebration into chaos. Get plenty of sleep and exercise so you have the energy to make it through this busy time.  Keep your sense of humor remembering that sometimes the screw-ups make the fondest memories.

If you would like more information on “Organize Holiday Tasks to Keep in Good Cheer” feel free to contact Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Emeritus University of Minnesota at waldn001@umn.edu.  Be sure to watch for more Family Living Focus information in next week’s paper.

Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota 

With the rollercoaster-like emotions of grief, the holidays can be an especially tough time.  We remember specific details of past holidays, the unexpected snowstorm, the memorable gift we were hoping for and then received, the turkey that was undercooked the songs and laughter.  These memories remind us of our loss.  Other reminders such as cards addressed to the person who died, holiday movies, gifts that seem perfect, can make us feel out of sorts with the season.  Everyone else seems so happy and joyful.

The holidays are a tough time to grieve.  Knowing that does not make them any easier, but at least it may help us understand and accept our reactions and tap into the things we can do to help ourselves cope with the holidays.

Following are three C’s of coping with the holidays – choose, communicate, and compromise:

Choose:

During the holidays it is easy to drift into activities that increase our pain.  But we do have choices.  We can decide which activities we wish to participate in, who we want to be with, what we want to do.  After her husband died, June was invited, actually pressured, to join her sister-in-law for the holidays.  She decided that she would retain the freedom to choose where she wanted to be on Christmas until that morning.  “I never know how much energy I’ll have, or how I feel until that day,” she explained.  On Christmas morning, she decided to have dinner with a few women she had met in a

local widows’ support group.  She chose to go to her sister-in-law’s house for dessert.

One of the choices we may wish to consider is how to mark the loss during the holidays. During the holidays we feel the presence of that person’s absence.  Finding ways to recognize and acknowledge that individual can bring a positive focus to our grief.  This may be done in a number of ways such as lighting a candle, creating a ritual, placing a memento on a tree, a moment of silence or a holiday toast are simple ways to acknowledge the loss.

Communicate:

It is important that we discuss our choices with others, especially those who are affected by them.  They have needs as well.  Their ways of dealing with grief may be different.

June, for example, talked with her sister-in-law, explaining her feelings, and asking if she could make a decision that day.  Once her sister-in-law understood June’s feelings and needs, she was willing to be flexible.  Marcy’s family had to have a

considerable discussion over whether or not they would have a Christmas tree after the death of one of her children.

Compromise:

Each of us deals with loss in our own particular way.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  When we communicate, we may find that our feelings and needs, the very ways that we cope, will differ.  We need to find space to compromise.  For example, some people in Marcy’s family saw the Christmas tree as an important tribute to their late son and brother.  Other family members saw it as disrespectful.  They talked through each point of view and decided that this year they would have a small tree, not in the central living room but in the family room.  Those who wanted to help decorate could, but those who chose not to would also be respected.  All could deal with their loss in their own way.

Nothing changes the fact that the holidays can be especially difficult while grieving.  But as we choose our actions, communicate our choices with others, and find suitable compromises, we may find that they are bearable.  And that gives us renewed strength and hope.

If you would like more information on “Three C’s for Coping with the Holidays” feel free to contact Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Emeritus University of Minnesota at waldn001@umn.edu.  Be sure to watch for more Family Living Focus information in next week’s paper.