All’s fair in love and Slap Whale

There’s a bit of a conflict between me and Tina as to the origin of the card game, Slap Whale. If you ask Tina, she’ll tell you that she invented the game on a day when she was home sick. If you ask me, I’ll tell you I invented the game on a day when we were bored and the only source of entertainment was a deck of jumbo-sized Go Fish cards.

On Sunday evening, we argued over the invention as Tina shuffled the Go Fish cards.  We had intended to play Rummikub but everyone else wanted to sit outside around the fire pit and drink beer. Rummikub isn’t much fun with only two people. So, Slap Whale it was.

What exactly is Slap Whale? Well, since I invented it, it’ll be easy to explain.

To keep it simple, Slap Whale is Slap Jack, you know, the game where players alternate laying cards down face-up and when a Jack is laid down the player who slaps their hand on it first gets the pile. The person with all the cards in the end wins the game. The only difference in Slap Whale is a cartoon whale is the card you slap to win. The cartoon whale takes all.

The game sounds simple enough, but it gets complicated when the stakes get high, along with the card pile. That’s when that dang cartoon dolphin card, a thinner version of the whale, causes confusion and both players start slapping at everything.

So anyway, Tina and I were playing Slap Whale on Sunday, arguing, as we’ll do, over invention claims and who’s cheating.

“Stop looking at your cards before you lay’em down, Mom! You’re cheating!”

“Yeah, well, quit hovering your hand over the card pile, Tina! Unfair advantage! You’re cheating!”

“You can’t take those cards, Mom! There’s no whale to slap! You’re cheating!”

“Quit making the pile so close to you, Tina! I have to reach to slap! You’re cheating!”

And so it goes.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Geez, that Slap Whale game sounds rather contentious! It sounds like one big argument! It sounds like no fun at all!”

Well, that’s where you’re wrong. Slap Whale is the most fun game ever! And not only because Tina is a fine Slap Whale adversary and totally fun to argue with.

No, Slap Whale is fun because I invented it. That’s right, I invented it. And I will argue that point until the day I die, or until the day I beat Tina at Slap Whale, whichever comes first.

At the rate I’m going, I’m thinking death will come first. Didn’t I mention? Tina is really good at playing Slap Whale, but I think it has to do with all her cheating. I really do…